December 24, 2007 - Running on Empty |
So, things have been going very well at the chiropractor's office since, well....since my first visit. *ahem* I have now moved into next phase of my treatment plan and have been released to moderate exercise. They highly recommended walking on a treadmill, so I headed back to the gym. I've been going over the last couple weeks and am already feeling better.
On Saturday, my daughter and I both donned our work out clothes and stepped up on the machines for a little race. It was to be a 45 minute walk, and we always try to out-do each other in terms of incline and speed. Youth versus Age. The tortoise and the hare. I pumped the volume up on my mp3 players and got to stepping. About fifteen minutes into the walk race, I decided rather spur of the moment, to run a little bit. That way I could boost my speed, PLUS get higher end results for the total walk than she would. And since I figured I couldn't be THAT out of shape since I was last going to the gym regularly, I left the incline set at about 2.5 and I took off. I looked over at my daughter who seemed to be just plodding along in slow-motion, and I grinned the grin of someone who knew they were gonna win.
It didn't last long. I was wheezing in no time. But by God, I was going to run a full minute if it killed me. So I kept wheezing. Finally, I was ready to push the button to reduce the speed back down, but I was hotter than Hades, so I pushed the button to turn the fan on first *click*. Then I knew I needed to lower the incline as well cuz my shins were screaming! *click-click* By that point, I'm frantic to get at the speed button. *click-click* Nothing happened. I'm still running. *click-click-click* Nope, still running. I looked over at my daughter, helpless and wheezing, wanting to ask if she was seeing what I was seeing, but of course all I am doing is wheezing, so all I could do was point at the evil non-functioning down arrow. *CLICK-CLICK!!!* With every video clip of someone falling on a highspeed treadmill racing thru my head, I started looking for the emergency stop button. I'm right-handed! Why wasn't it right there by my right hand?! Anticipating how bad the belt burns were going to be on my chin in 1.5 seconds, I looked over one last time at my daughter. She is laughing so hard she seems to be ready to wet her pants, and she is still merrily plodding along. But I spotted her red emergency stop button on her left side handle. I was so out of my mind with panic, I tried to hit HER button to stop MY treadmill, but quickly redirected that impulse over to my own left handrail and smacked the STOP button so hard my hand hurt!
Now, with jelly legs and bleeding lungs and a slightly incontinent daughter next to me, I tried to catch my breath enough to say "What the F---" but "what the" is all I could get out. I had a stitch in my side, a developing blister on my right foot, broken fingers, and blurred vision. The beeping heart rate monitor was sounding strangely like a smoke detector going off. My daughter finally gave up on being able to remain next to me without wetting herself and moved to finish her workout on one of the exercise bikes in the row in front of me so she wouldn't be able to see me.
When I recovered enough, I finished up my workout by selecting the "Forest Walk" option on the treadmill, maxing the incline to 3.0 and the speed to 3.0 as well for 30 minutes. No more manual adjusting of speed increments for me. And still, I watched the digital readout with a wary eye. Every once in a while, my daughter would look over her shoulder and chuckle. I walked thru the forest without incident, thank goodness.
We both finished up our trip to the gym with some resistance training in the main area of the facility, and I realized how much the whole workout reminded me of something you might see on the I Love Lucy Show. It was definitely Lucy and Ethel all the way.
So, as you all get prepared to make those New Year's resolutions and start going to the gym, beware the evil buttons. They have been given the power to ignore us. |
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December 24, 2007 - Lucy and Ethel are back!! |
| Posted by KitKat |
Loved your gym workout story. Yikes, I have to admit, I'm glad it was you and not me, EMS would have be involved if it had been me. Thanks for the warning! I doubt I'll ever use a treadmill at my age.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and Sneaker. |
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